There was seeker service this morning in church... Joe, Shao Xiong, Priscilla, Joshua and Gerald were playing... It was a showcase of Joe, SX and Pris's life... And they really gave testimony of how God transformed their lives. And you know the most amazing thing? EVERYONE will have something to say if he/she gives his/her life to God... Because thats when you realise how small and useless you are and how magnificent He is. Nevertheless, I still enjoyed their sharing through songs... They are very talented vocalist/musicians...

Which brings me to the gig/worship session at Church of our Saviour last night... I love Sky in Euphoria... Insane tight noise generators!!! Superbly impressive!!! The screamer for that band is also the drummer for the sonic edge band... His name is Jerome I think. Respect for him shot sky high!!! Ok... The bands rocked... But what really hit me was how intense the worship was... Remember the 'holy noise' I was talking about? It was there with the sonic edge band... The guys weren't performing at all... As far as I knew and I could see, they were worshipping... Nothing of themselves. Giving ALL Glory to God. And The desire to play for His Glory rose up again and all hesitation I had about forming a Christian band went out the window. Made some new friends there and met some old ones as well... Amanda and Xavier were there too!! BEDOK VIEW!!! hahaha...

Got asked to give an opening prayer before the sonicedge band started playing... I found it kinda strange. Why did he pick me? Did he know that I was a Christian? Do I look Christian? Or was it just a chance thing? heheheh... They were also asking me where I got my 'further seems forever' T-shirt from... They went nuts over it, Haha. 'The T-shirt made him a star?' :P Do you want a question you could ponder on forever and still not have an answer? "Why does God even give a damn about us?" ::: Lyric of the Day ::: Twelve days gone by since I have saw you last. I'll give this one more try, I'll give it all my best. And I'll ask "What can you be doing that is so much fun without me your side, without me by your side?" And I'll take a step back, and I'll let you ahead. And I will take a step away and see if you come back. Because there's no more trying to make this alright, there's no more trying, there's no more trying tonight. We will never be the same. We will never be the same until you're done.

Smile!!! I'm in a rather good mood today... I don't know why. Spent the earlier part of the afternoon with Andy... Went to Saint Andrew's Cathedral to collect the '40 day prayer and fast' booklets... Thank God I opened the packaging to take out a booklet for myself... I realised that they had given us 100 chinese booklets... So we went to exchange it. After that we went to search for wooden balls....... Yes. Wooden Balls... The balls for the table soccer set in church were gone so he wanted to replace them... Couldn't find any at orchard... In the end, he bought a large bead from Spotlight in Tampines...
Had a lot to talk about during the drive in between places... Andy reassured me that there was still hope. But trust must be put in Him...

Street Evangelism in Tampines tomorrow... I hope the response will be good. REMEMBER TO BUY BREATH MINTS!!! hahaha!

::: Lyric of the Day :::
I watched you change, into a fly
I looked away, you are fine

I've watched a change in you
it's like you never had wings
now you feel so alive
I've watched you change

a look at the cross, then I look away
I give you the gun, blow me away

you've changed
you've changed
you've changed

Good evening dearest blog... how has your day been? Mine was somewhat frustrating... Met up with Matt and Cheng to go to Wake Me Up Music in Queenstown to submit our demo. When we got on the train at Kembangan... Matt realised that he forgot to bring the demo... So he dropped at Eunos and went back... Cheng and I continued on to Lavender. He wanted to get an exit permit. After reaching the building, buying an ice cream, filling in a 'I-don't-have-SARS' form and going through a thermal scan, Cheng realised that he couldn't get one there... He should have gone to SAFRA in Tampines... hahaaha.

So we waited for Matt and then headed down to Queenstown... Ok, follow carefully or you'll get lost like we did... Walked to the bus stop and took a bus in the wrong direction... Found out when we were reaching zouk... So we got down crossed the road... We were supposed to take the same bus back to the MRT... But being the smart alecs, we took another bus which we thought would go back in the same direction. Found ourselves going past Mohammad Sultan Road... So we got down again and waited 30 mins for bus 32... It brought us to where we wanted to go. Margaret Drive... But I made us get down 3 stops too early... And we had to walk i think 1 kilometre to the place... Thats when I found out that it was right next to 'Church of our Saviour'. SO FUN!!! The people there were very nice... Took our picture and made us feel very welcome.

::: Quote of the Day :::
"I'm impressed. Very impressed... Cheapthrills is excellent. I never knew they had original tracks. Better still, i never knew their originals were as radio-friendly as friendly could get (what i mean is, it's singable, people can relate to it and should be on national radio). They could be potential hits. Anyway, their debut (public) performance was on Saturday... Looks like they already have a (majority) female fanbase all lined up in the front row... I'm not just saying that they're good because i know them. They've really got good potential..."
| Joanne |
She really knows how to compliment doesn't she? But the comments left by her friend for that post weren't very nice. Shallow? Maybe... I dunno the person well enough to say that.

Wrote the following on Sunday after going up for ministry...
Did God get any glory from yesterday? No. It was fun, yes.. but it doesn't satisfy like You do. I don't get the same satisfaction I get when I play for worship... I want to serve God with my talents. I want to play good music as well. Something like the Sonic Edge Band... With extreme worship. So should I leave CheapThrills? Not yet..? Wait for Him to provide the opportunity? I don't want to do anything stupid. I'll be asking God what He wants me to do...

Hello world...
Apparently the performance was a good one... I was too busy focusing on the amount of mistakes I made on my drums to realise that... Only found out just now after watching the video recording twice that the band sounded pretty tight... I guess that maybe the reason why I felt that I was crappy is because my expectations were raised? Also realised that I sped up quite a lot of the songs. Nervousness got to me... again...

From the response of the crowd (mostly our friends), it would seem that we've gotten one foot in the door... 2 more gigs coming up!!! And maybe a chance to perform at sonicfest... But I know this isn't my commitment. I want to play for a Christian band... Maybe it isn't time. Or maybe I need to do something with this band first? Gain experience? I dunno.

I thank God that things have been put into persepective recently... Being in a band and rocking the crowd doesn't make you a better person. Hope and trust shouldn't be placed in the band but in God. Same concept as with girlfriends, friends, possessions... Whatever! Cos these things aren't constant, they aren't reliable... Someone in the band might just up and leave and I'd be left with another broken dream... Whatever it is, God must take 1st place in my life... I want to try my best to make that happen.

Went 'shopping / walking / eating' with Liwei, Gan, Ben and Pat... I've really been enjoying spending time with them these few weeks. The 3 of us accompanied Pat to see her NOT BUY a skirt that she was eyeing... Actually, it was I who advised her against it. It was the type of skirt that would be too formal to wear often. Went to have dinner at Lucky Plaza after that.. Had Japanese Curry Chicken Rice... DELICIOUS!!! Felt super drowsy after that... Maybe it was because of the 4 a side soccer tournement in the sunny morning and hot & sweaty drumming in the humid afternoon... Headed down to Huaying to meet Shaoxiong, Joseph, Josh and Gloria before coming back home to watch the video of the performance... Watched Animatrix also.

::: Quote of the Day :::
"The handsome guys don't have to be nice, and the nice guys are ugly. Maybe you should SETTLE for a nice guy?"

The new guitarist was not bad. Good with his effects... Confident with his playing too. Dunno why I couldn't keep constant for 'WIITB'... Had a lot of trouble with 'Buried myself alive' too. The studio was crappy as well... The mikes looked as if they haven't been cleaned in years... There was a problem with the amps as well.

Matt, Cheng and I went to Delta House for the briefing on the gig... We'll be playing this Saturday (hope we'll be prepared) at Suntec City... At the fountain of wealth. Suntec City on a weekend... We couldn't have asked for a better venue for our first performance. We are helping some charity for arts... Arts For Us All (AFUA). heheheh... Surprisingly, the people in charge there were all girls. (quite cute ones as well!) They were mostly in secondary 4. Sigh...

WAKE UP DARYL!!!!!

Good evening world... Finally back home from the camp... Its been a blessed 3 days for me... especially yesterday and tonight. Last night we had a time of edifying and encouraging one another... Because the bible says, "...encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness." | Hebrews 3:13 | and "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. | 1 Thessalonians 5:11 |

So anyway, we had this time where we split up into groups of 7 or 8 people... Then we encouraged one another... I found myself loving each brother and sister more and saying the truth about their strengths... Even to a brother I thought that I would have trouble speaking good things about... Gods love was just coming out through my mouth. When it came to my turn much later, I was surprised by the fact that everyone had something to say about me... I never knew that the change was that obvious...
I remember things like:
1) The changes can be seen... Sad to say its after you and Eileen broke up but there have been changes. Don't stop... (Nathan)
2) Grown a lot ?spiritually... (Yoong Soo, Roy)
3) Willing to learn, accepts corrections. And he improved a lot. 'gave examples of me in the band.' (Roy)
4) Doesn't hide anything from you. If you ask him something, you can be sure that his answer is an honest one... (Gabriel)
5) A lot of potential... Still hasn't been reached... (Nathan)
6) You're like a branch... That has been bent and twisted.. But you will not break... (Wei Wei)

I think I was most touched by Wei Wei's encouragement... She hasn't known me for a very long time and that was the 'impression' that she had gotten from me. I believe that some of the members's eyes have opened. We are now more comfortable with each other... I pray that it will last. My mom also encouraged me... She told me to take the news as prayer requests. I think thats a good idea but I pray that I hear as little as possible...

Met up with Andy at bedok just now... I shared the dream with him and told him about my struggles with my desires to have a girlfriend once again... And I told him about how irritating it was to constantly have all these feelings. Well, we prayed for each other and later met up with Pat, Jackson and 2 other kids. These were Andy's contacts from the Street-E in Tampines... Noisy siblings!! They said something strange when she came to meet us... They said something like, "Your girlfriend ah? Look like your girlfriend..." I was speechless for a few seconds... hahahaha.
Went to watch 'the hulk'... Stupid show... Don't watch it! Seriously!

The later part of the evening was spent chatting with Pat while they had supper... Later on, Jackson and I were supposed to join Ignite for supper at Huaying. He gave me a lift on his bike to Huaying... It was the 1st time since I was 8 years old since I rode on a bike... I can see why people enjoy riding on motorbikes so much. The wind in your face, in your ears. You feel as if you're flying. When we reached Huaying, the band was already leaving... Lamely. Jackson and I sat down and had a drink. We had a very good sharing about our lives and which direction God wanted us to go in our lives... I think I learnt more about him in that hour than I did since I met him...

Found out on Tuesday that CheapThrills will be performing at suntec on Saturday. This will be our first big gig. 45 minute set... which would mean 5-6 songs. Practicing tomorrow and Friday. Meeting our replacement guitarist, Rudy, as well.

Had this dream last night... Kinda strange but it made me realise how important the covenant is to me...

The Dream
There's me, some friends and this cute girl... And we were all hanging out at this, warehouse / bar thingy... slacking around, listening to music and chatting away... Then this girl comes up to me and introduces herself. i don't rememeber her name now... But I do remember she was cute and friendly... We started chatting and we hit it off quite well... In the dream, time seemed to speed up and I think she asked if we could get together... I found it amazing how crazy she was about me. And I grew to like her a lot too... I seemed to push the covenant out of my mind... After all, she was perfect!!! All my requirements met, so to speak...

The only problem was, the year wasn't up yet... So anyhow... Now I'm in this building... Then I entered this room where I could see the evening sky... It was beautiful. Then suddenly dark storm clouds rolled into view... It was like someone speeding up a video recording of the sky before a thunderstorm... Then there was this deep voice that said a single word, 'PROMISE!!!' At first I was afraid... But I told those clouds to leave and they slowly rolled away... But just as the last cloud disappeared from the sky, the clouds came back faster then before and the voice said, 'Are you sure, Daryl? Do you want to walk out from under my hand?'

In the next part of the dream, I was searching for that girl... Took quite awhile to find her. When I looked her in the eye and said, 'we need to talk...', tears started rolling down from her eyes... So I brought her into a room... Something like a closet... where I told her about my covenant. She started sobbing very badly so I brought her into my arms... If I remember correctly, the top of her head came to my mouth, so I was kissing her head... Then she pulled back from me and said, 'Don't do that... You lied!!!' I think I was trying to explain things to her when I woke up...

It was really weird... Spent a lot of time thinking. I've decided that I don't want to think about relationships already... Its really been tiring.
I'll be at my church camp from tomorrow till wednesday... We'll be staying at Le Meridian in Orchard Road. Expecting great things to happen... I want them to happen.

Hello world... Tiring day today. Had practice at 10:30am. But woke up late so we reached church at 10:50am... Practice was alright. Need a break from drumming... Haha. Went to play street soccer after practice at the court outside Bedok View Secondary... My old school. Didn't play very well... Think I was really tired. Sluggish feet. Soccer ended early cos it started raining quite heavily. So took a cab home with the Song brothers and Liwei... After I took a shower, I fell asleep to the sounds of Dashboard Confessional.. Was out for more than 2 hours... Woke up at 6:24pm.. I had to be in church for CG at 6:30pm so you can imagine how irritated I was at myself...

I've started taking piano lessons again... From Lynette. Had my first lesson yesterday... Brought back memories of when she would teach me things when I was younger... If I'm not wrong, she would get irritated at me quite easily... Haha!!! But yesterday was different... Maybe because she didn't know how to teach me cos I didn't know what I wanted to learn... Anyway, started learning chord inversions. Found that a lot of songs could be improvised like that...
Went to the 3rd Place again last night... It was supposed to be 'Amateur Band Showcase' but from what I heard, they were anything but amateur... Was blown away by 'Gloria'... Insanely good band. Brought you to a high with their music and kept you there for 2 to 3 minutes... 'Sky in Euphoria' was also good. Loud, hard rocking and tight!!! You can't go wrong with those 3 things!

Shared with Pat, Gloria and T-Jian today at cell... The dreams are still around. And it makes me tired. Maybe I'm not doing something right... Maybe I need to spend more time with God... So often we so ready to give advice to others, but we don't know how to apply it to ourselves. Going to do quiet time now before I sleep...

::: Quote of the Day :::
"Maybe thats why we hold on as hard as we do... We just can't believe that such a miracle like that could happen to us twice... But it can... Someday you'll find it again, I promise you..."


You are an Official Punk Rocker! You love to go to
shows, get bruised and cut, and love every
minute of it.

Spent the last 2 days mostly in Orchard and Somerset area... Went to check out the T-shirts at '2001'... Couldn't buy anything cos they hadn't unpacked the stock yet and I had no money... So the 4 of us (Matt, Cheng, Ziig and myself) slacked at the open field beside Heeren and at the open space outside Cineleisure... They had some bands playing. To be VERY honest, some of them sucked... Made me wonder how they got though the auditions in the first place. I hope that our band doesn't play like that when we do perform...

Went to church at 12-ish to re-record our originals for the demo... Got some weird looks from Thor Bee. She wanted to know what we were there for... I told them that we were doing some recording... Didn't seem to appease her. Spent 3 hours playing... Totally exhausted ourselves. Majority of the mistakes were made by Matt and me today... So we had to repeat the 2 songs like 10 times each. Went to eat at the Wan Tan Mee Stall behind church after practice... In my opinion its the best Wan Tan Mee around.

Went down to Orchard to get our T-shirts... Matt bought the 'Taking Back Sunday' one... Cheng bought 'Thursday'... I bought 'Box Car Racer' and 'Further seems Forever'. After that we went down to Scotts picnic to eat...Cheng and I had pasta from PastaMania. Spagetti Carbonara!!! My favourite!! Caught some bands again... Today's lineup was slightly better but still lacking the quality that I used to see every third saturday of the month at Youth Park 3 or 4 years ago.

I haven't been sleeping well... Less than 5 or 6 hours everynight. Strange. My brother said, "Don't carry other peoples burdens... This one year is for yourself." Maybe he's right. I've been trying. TIME TO TRY HARDER!!!
I find myself becoming rather 'desperate' these few days... Looking at girls passing by and wondering whether she's 'the one'.
Yes, yes... I know its kinda foolish. I know its wrong and I need to stop it... What use is the covenant if keeping it is still going to take all your attention and focus? Its supposed to free me up to focus on other things like serving God... I need the time... Have lotsa practices coming up... For church camp. I'm also the head of the prayer and worship committee for the Youth Camp... Quite a heavy responsibility? But I know I can do it... I know that if I actually get down to praying and waiting on Him, He'll guide me on what to do...

We need to re-record the orginals tomorrow because Maha's screaming/goring was too loud. Got quite a few good reviews though from friends. I need an electronic metronome... you know those types you can fit in your ear? To help keep time. Ok... Gotta sleep now...

::: Verse of the Day :::
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress. And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from start to finish. He was willing to die a shameful death on the cross because of the joy he knew would be his afterward. Now he is seated in the place of highest honor beside God's throne in heaven. Think about all he endured when sinful people did such terrible things to him, so that you don't become weary and give up. | Hebrews 12:1-3 (NLT) |

Tears... don't fall for no reason...
Shared with Dale after blogging last night... he encouraged me. Seems I was 'more right' than I initially thought...

It was strange... The feelings of old came back... And I wasn't talking about tear-shedding emotions... This got me screaming into my pillow in frustration. Slept at almost 4am.. And woke up at almost 8 am... Couldn't get back to sleep either... At least that meant I could be on time for church.

Met Gan at the slip road coming from the highway to Jalan Eunos... Praise God for that. Got a ride to church! hahah. Worship was very intimate... Led by Priscilla. It seems to me that she doesn't care how she leads. All she does is worship God... and we just follow! haha! Practice was rather slow and tedious today... Seemed that the song didn't seem to link at all... Was playing percussions today so I didn't really have to pay attention.

The band came down at around 4:30pm to do a demo recording... I think the recording sounded very good. Shout out to Chris, Gloria and Cedric who stayed back to help with the recording... I owe them dinner!!! hahah...

::: Lyric of the Day :::
More than us
And we are them
But they don't know
What's in their hands
It's more than you
And it's more than I
But it's more

And everybody calls it love
I'm not really sure if it's love at all
Not anymore

And everybody wants a hand
But I'm too busy holding up the world
To carry on
No, not anymore

Mee Pok, Orchard MRT, Far East, 2001, Revolution East, Lido, Bruce Almighty, Borders, Lynette, blurblurblurblur, Burger King, Orchard MRT, Simei MRT, Tampines MRT, Simei MRT, East Point, Sakae Sushi, toilet, TrueVine, Sakae Sushi, Orchard MRT, Bus 16, Kopitiam, Phuture, Zouk, toilet, Phuture, Zouk, toilet, Phuture, Shell Station, Home, ZZZZzzzzz, City Hall MRT, City Link, Marina Square, Burger King, shoppingshoppingshopping, Suntec City, Bus 16, Koon Seng Road, Church, Eunos Kopitiam, Kembangan MRT, Home...

Good boy... Managed to control yourself today. Part of me hopes that it hurts... I wish it hurts as bad as it did for me. I hope it feels as if your heart is pulled out through your throat and pitched as a baseball towards a batter... But another part wishes for it not to. I pray that the right choice will be made. Maybe this is what is needed. Maybe a lesson is to be learnt... Maybe. Consequences like these are usually bitter.

definition of Consequence (noun)
Something that logically or naturally follows from an action...

I'm sure they are sour!!!

::: Lyric of the Day :::
But I've hidden a note
It's pressed between pages
that you've marked to find your way back.
It says "Does he ever get the girl?"
But what if the pages stay pressed,
the chapters unfinished,
the stories too dull to unfold?
Does he ever get the girl?

Hello world... Spent time with God 2 nights ago. I think that maybe I need to get my head examined!!! Lets put it this way... If you put a big serving of chicken chop in front of a hungry man, what does he do? He'll probably down the whole thing in 30 seconds flat... (Trust me, I've seen Shen do it... :P) Let me give another example... If you see a drowning man and you throw him a life buoy or something, will he not desperately grab at it? Now under what circumstances will both men refuse the help offered to them? I can only think of 3 cases where that would happen...
1) The man is blind
2) The man is stupid or crazy
3) The man is too proud
4) The man doesn't like Chicken Chop

Okay... I'm kidding about the Chicken Chop. Now lets see here... I know I need help and I know how to get help... So that would mean that I'm neither blind nor stupid or crazy... So by elimination, that would leave me with being too proud to ask or accept the help. Thank God that forgiveness doesn't require some intense ritual... I'll be doing it 24/7 if that was the case.

Watched 'X-men 2' just now... Quite nice effects. The effects were similar to 'The Matrix: Reloaded' but not as good... quite a simple storyline... Didn't require much thinking. This is my 2nd movie in a week... I'd watched 'Darkness Falls' on Sunday... Played on childish fears of the dark.

I've been enjoying spending time with close friends lately... Just hanging out anywhere talking about anything or anyone. I think the idea about having friends is you get to be yourself and find out more about others and yourself as well...

The Fox and the Grapes

One hot summer's day a Fox was strolling through an orchard till he came to a bunch of Grapes just ripening on a vine which had been trained over a lofty branch. "Just the thing to quench my thirst," quoth he. Drawing back a few paces, he took a run and a jump, and just missed the bunch. Turning round again with a One, Two, Three, he jumped up, but with no greater success. Again and again he tried after the tempting morsel, but at last had to give it up, and walked away with his nose in the air, saying: "I am sure they are sour."

It is easy to despise what you cannot get.

Its is all about choices isn't it? I talk about people needing to be humble... What I didn't realise that no one can be really humble until he realises that he is proud... The same goes for myself... Do I dare say that I am humble? True humility doesn't even have to think about being humble. A truly humble person always thinks about others before himself...

Service was good today... Wasn't too late... Worship was good. Sat in front of her today... Didn't realise it until halfway through the service when I smelt her... Yes, I still recognise her smell. Hahaha... Anyway, I feel that I've been drifting away from God this week. Believe me when I say, "when you fall, you fall hard." Its not that I don't know that I can get back easily. Its just so infuriating to struggle so hard to do something that would please God and then fail again.
But Daryl... Nothing you can do will make Him love you any more or any less... But don't EVER stop trying...

When I say... "I'm a Christian" I'm not shouting "I'm clean living" I'm whispering "I was lost", Now I'm found and forgiven. When I say... "I'm a Christian" I don't speak of this with pride. I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I'm a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on. When I say... "I'm a Christian" I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I'm a Christian" I'm not claiming to be perfect, My flaws are far too visible but, God believes I am worth it. When I say... "I'm a Christian" I still feel the sting of pain, I have my share of heartaches So I call upon His name.